SOS
by Your Pet Peeve
Summary: .:AU:. Dear Whom Ever This Reaches, My plane crashed and I am one of the only survivors and I'm stuck on an uncharted island with a girl and her metal baseball bat. Please save me. .:NejiTen:. DISCONTINUED.
1. Plane Crash

**Crap…ANOTHER NEW STORY?**

**Well I can't help it…**

**The plot bunnies are haunting! DX**

_**Random Generic Disclaimer!**_

**I got permission from Uchiha S. to write this!**

**Thank you so much!**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**S.O.S**

**By Chibi Shino**

**Chapter 1**

"_11:00 flight to San Diego is boarding. I repeat: 11:00 flight to San Diego is boarding." _The loud speaker buzzed.

"Crap!" A mother covered her child's ears as a girl with two buns atop her head let out a string of colorful language as she ran to the gate, ticket in hand. She wore a jersey that had a big '21' on the back. Circling over the number, the word 'TENTEN' shined in the light. Tenten mentally to note that wearing her shorts and cleats to an airport was not the best idea after all. Her bags rattled behind her as she ran to the gate. She showed her ticket to the attendant, who took her bags (Tenten kept the backpack on that she had on her back) and ushered her to the direction of the plane. The brown eyed girl thanked her and ran in the direction.

She just made it.

"Phew…" She let out a sigh of relief. She looked down at her ticket. "G4…" She walked down the aisles to find the G section. "Ah ha!" She yelled in triumph as she found her seat. She smiled at her luck. A window seat!

Tenten began to dig through her bag when a voice rang out, "Is this G3?"

She blinked at the sudden voice. She looked to her right to see a man with gorgeous hair and sunglasses staring down at her. She smiled. "That's what the seat says." She replied.

"Aa. So it does."The man realized. Tenten giggled at the man's obliviousness. He sat down next to her.

Tenten's curiosity overtook her. "What's your name?" She asked.

He smirked. "Neji Hyuga." He took off his sunglasses to reveal unusual pearl eyes that made it look like her had no pupils. Tenten couldn't help but wonder how he could see. "What's yours?" He asked right back.

"Tenten." She responded. He waited for a surname. "I have no surname…" Tenten said, awkwardly. "It's weird, I know. I have no idea how it happened, either." She resumed her digging through her bag. After a moment, she found her water bottle. Neji was staring at her in an odd way. Feeling awkward after a minute or so, Tenten asked, "What?"

"You look familiar…" Neji said, not breaking his gaze.

Tenten sighed. "No one can just recognize me without me telling them…" She turned to him."I'm on the Japan woman's soccer team. I play center midfield." She stated like it was an obvious fact.

Neji smirked and nodded. "Yeah. I saw you play before."

"So Mr. Spectator, what do you do for a living?" Tenten said before she took a sip of water.

"I'm a masseuse."

Tenten choked on the water and started coughing like mad. Neji looked like he was used to it. After she could breathe, she started to laugh. So much for breathing… "REALLY? A MASSEUSE?" She asked in complete disbelief.

"Yes. People say I have fingers of an angel." Neji's comment didn't do his justice. He realized after he said that that it wasn't the best thing to say. It just added to Tenten's laughter.

They've been talking so much that they never realized that they already took off. Tenten calmed herself down and looked out the window. She smiled. "I love airplanes!"

Neji smirked. "You sound like a child."

"And proud of it!" The center fielder looked down at the ocean. "Hey." Neji assumed that he was trying to get her attention. "Do you know what ocean we're flying over?"

Neji shrugged. "No idea. I'm not a geographer."

Tenten smirked. "Yeah. You're a _masseuse_."

Neji growled. "It's not that funny, you know." After thinking about it for a moment, he realized that it did sound a little strange. Since the conversation was taking a turn for the worst (In Neji's point of view), he decided to talk about something else. "What are you going to San Diego for?" Tenten responded by looking down at her uniform. "Right. Stupid question."

"So, Mr. Masseuse, what are _you _going to San Diego for? To get better massaging skills?" Tenten teased.

"A job offer."

Tenten stared at him in shock. "You mean someone wanted you to come from another country?" Neji nodded. "Wow. I guess you really _are _good." She admired.

"I told you so."

Tenten was about to make a witty comment back, but was cut off by the loudspeaker. "_Attention passengers. Please remember the safety regulations and attach the oxygen mask to your face. And the life jackets! Don't forget with those!"_

Another voice came from the background of the message. _"Dobe_…"

"_Shut up, teme! Just because you're the pilot doesn't mean that- oh...urm…don't die everyone! BYE!"_

Tenten looked out the window to see a blonde haired boy with a parachute jump out of the plane followed by a raven haired boy with odd hair. People started to scream around her, but she did her best to keep her posture. "That was the pilot and co-pilot…" She gasped. Neji was struggling with his oxygen. Tenten noticed that many other people were also struggling. She quickly helped Neji and the people around her.

"Thanks." Neji responded before putting on his life jacket, helping Tenten with hers. They held on tight to their seats as the plane fell and with a splash landed into the ocean.

* * *

"Ugh…" Tenten opened her eyes slowly only to use her arm to block the hot sun. "…where am I?" She asked to no one in particular.

"No idea." Tenten shot up at the sudden response and turned around to see Neji in a wreaked version of his clothes. He was sitting on the wing of the broken plane.

Tenten started to smile in a crazy way. Suddenly, she started to laugh a disturbing laugh. "This is a dream…" She said through chuckles. Neji could only watch as she grabbed some driftwood and hit herself with it. "See?" She said with her eyes still closed. "I'm…AWAKE!" She opened her eyes only too see Neji staring at her like she needed help.

"Tenten. This is no dream." He stated.

The soccer player's eyes widened. "WHAT?"

"I couldn't believe it either. Everyone else didn't survive. Sharks probably got them. " Neji said casually. Tenten's face molded in disgust. "It's the truth."

"So I'm on an uncharted island with a wet man with ripped clothes. I'm in one on Ino's dreams. That must be it… INO! WAKEY WAKEY!"

"Now you are just sounding ridiculous."

"No really. Ino always has some perverted type of dreams that always star a half naked wet guy." Neji jumped and looked down at his clothes, a thin blush over his cheeks. Tenten smirked. "You didn't realize it?" The masseuse nodded. Tenten walked up to him and started to pat the plane. "Do you think we'll survive?" Neji smirked confidently. "…what's with the smirk…?" Tenten asked slightly afraid.

"We still have the plane and everything inside it."

"So then we can call people for he-"

"Except the radio. That broke."

"Of _COURSE_…"

"We still have everyone's luggage though. Even our own."

Tenten smiled as she walked into the crashed plane. She came out with her own suitcase. "You hungry?"

"Yes." Neji replied. Tenten opened her case and took out a shiny metal bat. Neji blinked. "I thought you had actual food in there. What's the bat for? Do you actually propose we cook it?"

Tenten turned to him. "Do you think eating a monkey is considered cannibalism?" Neji blinked, found a pen in the crashed plane and began writing on a large leaf. Tenten turned to the woods to stare at on unseen object. Neji found an empty bottle and put the note in it. He threw the note into the ocean and watched it float away.

* * *

_Dear Whom Ever This Reaches,_

_My plane crashed and I was one of the only survivors and I'm stuck on an uncharted island with a girl and her metal baseball bat. She looks hungry. And she's staring at an innocent monkey in the wrong way. _

_Please. Save me. _

_It's too late for the monkey._

* * *

**END CHAPPIE.**

**They seem really calm as the plane crashed. Seeing thatthey were about to die, you know.**

**If you don't get it, Tenten's thinking about killing a monkey and eating it.**

**Why does she have a bat, you ask?**

**Simple: Cause she can.**

**XD**

**R&R please!**

**-Chibi Shino**


	2. Food

****

Jeez...I really have to update faster...

**_Random Generic Disclaimer!_**

**Yeah...**

**Sorry. :(**

**Well, on the brightside, no more school means faster updates! :D**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**S.O.S**

**By Chibi Shino**

**Chapter 2**

Neji watched as his message bobbed up and down with the waves, silently hoping that someone would get his message. Suddenly, he heard a monkey shriek and a loud bang. Neji had a bad feeling. Tenten wouldn't _actually _kill it...would she? Tenten ran back from the forest, dragging an unconcious monkey with her. "Quick, Neji!" Tenten anxiously handed Neji the bat. "KILL IT!" She yelled.

Neji started to poke the poor primate. "Isn't it already dead? That sounded like a pretty ugly bang..."

Tenten shook her head and looked at her feet. "I knocked it out. I'd have guilt all of my life if I killed it..." She slowly lifted her head. "But if _YOU_ killed it..."

Neji wanted to say no, but he was so damn _hungry_... He wanted to save it! Who said that Neji Hyuga was a monkey hater? Wanting to buy time so that the monkey could live, he asked Tenten, "Isn't there extra peanuts or something on the plane?"

Tenten shook her head. "No. They were all in the front of the plane which, as you can see, crashed into the ground."

Neji couldn't help but let out an agrivated groan. "Isn't there anything else we can eat?" Tenten's eyes went back to the monkey. "_Besides the monkey_."

Tenten nodded. "Yeah." She walked to a palm tree and pointed up at its leaves. Neji followed the Tenten's finger to what she was pointing at. Neji smirked. Coconuts. Perfect. The soccer player turned around to face Neji. "How will we get them down?" She asked.

Neji pondered the question. A skilled masseuse like him could never go up that tree and Tenten didn't really seem like the climbing type of person. His gaze rested at the monkey. "Maybe we could bribe the monkey." He threw out.

"Oh and you think _I'M _crazy?" Tenten crossed her arms. "Anyway, it's probably not going to be very friendly when it wakes up."

"Naturally after you knocked it out."

Tenten ignored Neji's comment. She walked back to Neji and held out her fist. Neji looked at it curiously. What is she doing? A fighting pose? Tenten's laugh rang out. "Neji, you never played rock, paper, scissors?"

Just like Tenten before, Neji ignored Tenten's comment. "So. Loser climbs the tree?" He raised his fist.

Tenten smiled. "Yup. Best two out of three." The two turned their attention to their hands.

"Rock...paper...scissors...SHOOT!"

* * *

"I want to get down now."

"Why?"

"I don't like hights."

"So you went on an airplane?"

"Please get me down."

"But you're already halfway there!"

"I can barely see. My hair's in my face."

"Quit being a wuzz, Neji!"

"..."

Tenten rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah, the silent treatment. REAL mature..." Actually, it was taking all of her will power to keep herself from laughing. It's not everyday you see Neji Hyuga clinging onto the middle of a palm tree for dear life. "Come on! We need food!" Even though she was about 6 feet below him, Tenten could hear Neji curse under his breathe. "Don't make me do it again."

Neji glared her down. "Don't you dare."

"Then move." Neji didn't move an inch. Tenten sighed over dramatically. "Fine!" She placed her hands on both sides of the tree trunk. "I'll give you five seconds." She smiled evily. "Five..." Neji glared harder. Tenten was unfazed. "Four..." Neji broke his glare. It wasn't worth the energy on this girl... "THREE..."

Neji looked up at the top of the tree. "How do you expect me to climb to the top of the tree in three seconds?"

"TWO..." Her gripped tightened. Neji silently prayed to god that he wasn't going to die. "ONE..." He hugged the tree tighter. Tenten laughed maniacally. "ZERO!" She shook the tree as hard as she could, shaking Neji with it. This just caused Neji to grip onto the tree tighter and Tenten to swing the tree harder. "GIVE UP, HYUGA." Tenten threatened.

"No." Was his response before his hands gave out and he face planted onto the beach. Tenten stared at Neji for a moment before she burst out with laughter. Neji raised his head, spit out some sand that made it's was into his mouth and growled, "Shut up..."

The girl whiped a tear from her eye, stared at Neji then burst out again. Neji rasied and eyebrow. Really. Falling in the sand couldn't be THAT funny... "Neji..." Tenten breathed out between laughs. "Hair...sandy...CRAB...!"

It took Neji a moment to get what she was saying. He slowly raised his hand towards his head, hoping that the soccer player was only playing tricks on him. For a moment, he felt nothing. Then a sudden pinch. Neji held in a scream and only held out his hand to see the damage. A crab was hanging off of his palm, still clinging on. "...Tenten." He managed to keep his voice stable. "Help."

Tenten stopped laughing and grabbed some driftwood. She tried to slide it between Neji's hand and the crab's pinchers, but it was too big. "Neji, put your hand to the side." Tenten commanded. Neji nodded and put his hand palm down so that the crab was on the ground. Tenten managed to find a bucket in the plane and covered the crab with it. The crab let go and was inside the bucket.

The masseuse rubbed the sore spot of his hand. "Thank you, Tenten." He thanked. However, the said girl wasn't listening. She handed Neji a second bucket. He took it. "What am I supposed to do with this?" He asked.

"Fill it up with water." Tenten replied.

Neji raised an eyebrow. "Why? Salt water isn't very healthy to drink." He was completely confused. Everyone knew that this water was not good to drink. Tenten was attempting to start a fire. Correct. NOW he's completely confused. Why would you need a fire in 90 degree weather? Nevertheless, Neji got the water and made his way back to Tenten. "What's all of this for?"

Tenten smiled. "You up for some crab legs?"

* * *

**FINALLY. SECOND CHAPTER DONE.**

**Sorry if it sucked. I haven't typed in a while so it's probably really badly written! XD**

**Oh well...**

**R&R please!**

**-Chibi Shino**

**OoNOTEoO**

**I am excepting requests now! **

**HOWEVER, my rules are kinda weird...**

**You have to give me the following to I can write your request:**

**1) The Characters you want in it**

**2) 10-20 prompts. (I'll give an example after the rules if you don't know what hey are)**

**3) Couple (If necessary)**

**4) Genre (If necessary)**

**Side note: These are ONLY going to be one-shots.**

**Now for the people that don't know what prompts are...**

**How to explain this...**

**Prompts are quotes or things (From what I know...). **

**Here are some examples:**

**Ice cream bar**

**"Say hello to my little friend."**

**Watermelon**

**Speedo**

**"Oh _hell _no!"**

**END LIST**

**Yeah. Something like that.**

**So PM me if you have a request!**

**I'm looking forward to them!**


	3. Attack of the Crab Cake

After a long battle with writers block, I finally can continue this story! :D

I am now on Facebook. Type in 'Chibi Shino' and friend me! I accept all requests. :3

_Random Generic Disclaimer!_

Thank you Epidot for the idea. I am forever in your debt.

Enjoy!

* * *

**S.O.S**

**By Your Pet Peeve**

**Attack of the Crab Cake**

"You don't honestly expect me to eat that, do you?"

"I do."

"...is it edible?"

A pause.

"Tenten... I am not going to eat that."

"Well it's this or nothing."

"I would rather eat the ape."

"Well it's your own damn fault for letting it get away. Now eat, boy."

Neji sighed as he sat on the sand, staring at the strange concoction in horror. They were crab cakes or they were SUPPOSED to be, but cutting a hole crab in half, covering it with leaves and cooking over a fire didn't seem like any kind of food at all. It seemed like a desperate act of starvation. He reached for one carefully. After taking it, he noticed that Tenten was watching him. "What?" He asked.

"I wanted to see you eat it first." Tenten said, not dropping her gaze.

"Why?"

"'Cause if you get sick, I won't eat it."

Neji glared. "So I'm your lab rat?" Seeing the soccer player nod, he glared. "I would rather starve than get sick." His stomach growled afterwards, as if arguing with him.

Tenten smiled. "Oh really?"

Neji sighed and, seeing that he didn't have a choice, began to raise the disgusting meal to his lips. As he was about to bite it, there was a a yell. "WHERE THE HELL IS THE SHORE?! WE'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR HOURS!" Seeing this as a gift from the heavens, Neji dropped the 'crab cake' in the sand, claiming it was an accident. The duo turned their heads to see a blonde male and his angry looking friend coming from the forest. It didn't take long for them to realize that it was the pilot and the co-pilot from their plane. The blonde stared at them. "Do you speak English?" He asked, stretching out every word.

Rolling her eyes, Tenten said, "Yes."

The blonde smiled. "Good. I'm Naruto Uzumaki. This brooding fellow right here-" He nudged his head at the other man behind him. "-is Sasuke."

"Hi. I'm Tenten. That's Neji. You two abandoned us as the plane crashed."

Naruto laughed awkwardly. "Yeah... Sorry about that."

"It's okay. Now that I know you're alive, I can have my revenge later. Watch your back." She smiled sweetly.

Naruto laughed. "She's not kidding." Neji spoke up. "She attacked a monkey with a baseball bat." Tenten nodded, unashamed. That shut the pilot up.

"How did she get a baseball bat through security...?" Sasuke pondered out loud.

Clearing his throat, Naruto asked, "So can we set up camp with you? It's better to have a big group than a small one."

"Sure." Neji ignored Tenten's glares as he answered.

So a strange alliance was made. There was a silence. Naruto cleared his throat. "So... I heard you like Mudkips..." Everyone stared at him like he was insane. "What? I thought that would be a good ice breaker..."

"I have a better ice breaker." Tenten glared. "Why did you completely abandon your passengers?"

Awkward pause. Sasuke smirked. "The idiot over there would rather save his own ass than burn with everyone."

Glaring at him, Naruto responded, "No!"

"Then why?"

Another pause.

"Uh..." He couldn't think of an excuse.

"Okay. Enough." Neji growled. "What matters now is that we're stuck on an island with no contact with the outside world. Our priority is to survive this." Tenten looked at Neji in disbelief. "We can focus on revenge later." He added. Tenten smiled, already planning.

"AURGH!" Came a scream. Everyone turned to Naruto, who was getting attacked by a crab cake. Tenten doubled over with laughter. Neji looked horrifed and Sasuke couldn't help but be amused by this. Really. How often do you see a grown man get attacked by a crab cake? "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? GET IT OFF!" Naruto screamed, shaking his leg in a sad attempt to get the meal off.

"You were going to make me eat something that was still alive?" Neji asked in horror. Tenten couldn't respond. She was too busy trying to remember to breathe. Neji sighed.

Maybe he made the wrong choice to let them stay...

* * *

End of chapter!

What will happen next?

Wait to find out. I promise it won't take me as long.

R&R!

- Your Pet Peeve


	4. Eggs From Hell

**Hello! I'm sorry about no updating! I had horrible writers block, but here I am! :D**

**__****Random generic disclaimer!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**S.O.S**

**By Your Pet Peeve**

**Eggs From Hell**

"Why. Did. You. Let. Them. STAY?" Tenten demanded Neji when they were setting up the campfire. Sasuke and Naruto went out to look for food.

"They could make good allies." Neji responded, attempting to create a spark with two rocks.

"THEY'RE THE REASON WE'RE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

"It was the planes fault."

"THEY COULD'VE DONE MORE TO SAVE US."

"They gave us the instructions on how to save ourselves. What else could they have done?"

"Hmmm... I don't know... TRY to steer the plane to safety?"

"The steering controls were the problem in the first place." Neji and Tenten jumped and turned to see Sasuke. "And Naruto pushed me out of the plane, so don't blame this on me. If anything it was Naruto's overconfidence in himself."

"That sounds-... Very believable, actually. You're okay Sasuke. Did you find any food?" Tenten held her stomach for effect.

"I sent Naruto to do it by himself. I think he owes us a meal at least." Sasuke kneeled down next to Neji, took the stones. "Idiot..." He mumbled as he made a spark, starting the fire.

Tenten giggled. "Pwned." The three sat at the fire and stared at it in silence. "What's taking Naruto so long?" She wondered out loud.

Sasuke shrugged. "Knowing him, he got lost."

"Well hopefully he'll stay lost..." Tenten grumbled.

"Thanks! It's good to know that someone cares about my wellbeing!" They turned around to see Naruto. "Oh. And for a freakin' huge forest, it has just about no food."

"Well... DO YOU WANT A FREAKING KNUCKLE SANDWICH?"

"OH BRING IT _ON_!"

Tenten pounced at the two began to wrestle. Sasuke and Neji ignored them. "Hey." Sasuke whispered. "Want some?" He held out a cup of clear liquid.

"What is it?" Neji whispered back, careful not to let the other two hear.

"It's a special drink I made. Careful not to have too much though... It can make you sick."

"Sure, than-" Neji stopped and turned to Sasuke. They had an idea.

A deliciously evil idea.

* * *

"Good morning all you annoying bastards!" Tenten greeted cheerfully, climbing out of her crashed-airplane home.

Looking up from the fire, Naruto laughed and said, "Somebody had some happy pills!"

Smiling, Tenten said, "Well I'd rather be optimistic then live with the guilt that I jumped out of an airplane while I let all my passengers fall to their deaths!"

Neji smirked.

Sasuke glared.

Naruto pouted. "Must you bring that up?"

"Yes. Yes I must." She walked over to the fire and sat. "So what's for breakfast?"

"Eggs." Neji responded, holding up a straw basket full of eggs.

"Where did you get those?" Tenten was in awe. This was her first good meal in one week!

"Some nests."

"...And the mothers didn't mind?"

"The mothers are dinner now." He nudged his shoulder back to revel 4 little birds. Tenten's jaw dropped. "It was in self defense." Neji defended.

"That's still sick!"

"Says the girl who nearly killed a monkey." Piped in Sasuke. She glared. He smirked. "Check and mate."

"How does everyone want their eggs?" Neji asked, cracking the eggs into a pan made from a piece of the airplane.

"I like mine over easy." Tenten stated.

"Sunny side up." Naruto cheered.

"Raw." Sasuke growled. They stared at him blankly. Neji hesitantly handed Sasuke an egg he hadn't cracked yet.

Clearing his throat, the chef of the hour said, "Scrambled it is then." and began to make the eggs. Tenten sighed, but didn't argue. She didn't want her meal to be taken away. After about 3 minutes, the eggs were done.

And they were burnt.

To a crisp.

Sasuke was silently thankful for not letting his egg get cooked and continued drinking it.

Naruto stared in horror. "What... The... HELL?" He managed to get out.

"How did you get them to be this... BAD?" Tenten remarked, taken aback by the failed cooking.

"Maybe because I was using airplane as the pan and untensil." Neji growled, poking at the concotion. "Will anyone eat it anyway?"

Tenten and Naruto gave eachother a look, shrugged, and said, "Why not?"

* * *

"I FREAKING HATE YOU. NEJI." Tenten belched before throwing up into the woods again.

"I HATE YOU... Too..." Naruto said weakly before joining Tenten.

Watching the situation, Sasuke and Neji smirked.

Mission: Make the Annoying People Sick was a complete success.

* * *

**This has to do with the plot... I swear...**

**R&R please!**

**- Your Pet Peeve**


End file.
